Stephen Does The Math On Manafort's Jail Time

Deila
Fella inn
  • Birt 14 mar 2019
  • It's hard to keep track of all the crimes for which Paul Manafort has been charged and convicted. Stephen breaks down the math.
    Subscribe To "The Late Show" Channel HERE: bit.ly/ColbertISclips
    For more content from "The Late Show with Stephen Colbert", click HERE: bit.ly/1AKISnR
    Watch full episodes of "The Late Show" HERE: bit.ly/1Puei40
    Like "The Late Show" on Facebook HERE: on.fb.me/1df139Y
    Follow "The Late Show" on Twitter HERE: bit.ly/1dMzZzG
    Follow "The Late Show" on Google+ HERE: bit.ly/1JlGgzw
    Follow "The Late Show" on Instagram HERE: bit.ly/29wfREj
    Follow "The Late Show" on Tumblr HERE: bit.ly/29DVvtR
    Watch The Late Show with Stephen Colbert weeknights at 11:35 PM ET/10:35 PM CT. Only on CBS.
    Get the CBS app for iPhone & iPad! Click HERE: bit.ly/12rLxge
    Get new episodes of shows you love across devices the next day, stream live TV, and watch full seasons of CBS fan favorites anytime, anywhere with CBS All Access. Try it free! bit.ly/1OQA29B
    ---
    The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is the premier late night talk show on CBS, airing at 11:35pm EST, streaming online via CBS All Access, and delivered to the International Space Station on a USB drive taped to a weather balloon. Every night, viewers can expect: Comedy, humor, funny moments, witty interviews, celebrities, famous people, movie stars, bits, humorous celebrities doing bits, funny celebs, big group photos of every star from Hollywood, even the reclusive ones, plus also jokes.
  • AfþreyingAfþreying

Ummæli • 2 309

  • Jes The Red
    Jes The Red 2 klukkustundum síðan

    Not everyone who uses a wheel chair can't stand or walk, sometimes they just cant do so reliably. And I HATE IT when people try to use Wheelchairs to garner sympathy, they affect everyone who actually needs to use them.

  • Books by Roni
    Books by Roni 2 klukkustundum síðan

    Two plane crashes and the 737 max 8 is grounded for "safety reasons" but try to stop white supremacists from shooting up mosques and the USA implodes...

  • Tonni Tingholm Kristensen
    Tonni Tingholm Kristensen 2 klukkustundum síðan

    I miss the old Colbert

  • 420 Friendly
    420 Friendly 5 klukkustundum síðan

    "Bed-u" 😕

  • CNN News ToDay
    CNN News ToDay 7 klukkustundum síðan

    lol
    I hope they put Trump in prison and force him to watch only Steven Colbert 24/7.

  • j g
    j g 9 klukkustundum síðan

    Well that's the full story, 300 words. And now for the adverbs and adjectives. Ah ha, the magic 800! Copy boy!! Been there, inflated that.

  • mb
    mb 10 klukkustundum síðan

    P.s. Totally wrong with the Canadian impression. Ever been to Toronto Montreal or Vancouver? No beavers or moose about.

  • mb
    mb 11 klukkustundum síðan

    Can't believe you joked [in length] about 2 Boeing max 8's that went down. Almost 400 dead. WTF?

  • Pitt Posum
    Pitt Posum 14 klukkustundum síðan

    some people get more jail time for possession of a couple of grams of marijuana... money talks.

  • DeborahFishburn
    DeborahFishburn 15 klukkustundum síðan

    PLEASE don't (even for the funny) push the idea that people in wheelchairs can never stand. Lots of truly disabled people are able to stand for short periods at need, as long as they have the chair to collapse back into afterwards. The issue is that able-bodied people THEN try to claim they therefore have no need of the chair - or the disabled parking place - at all.

  • Hong Fei Bai
    Hong Fei Bai 21 klukkustund síðan

    Remember when in high school we learned how math was going to be useful one day? And now 19-24 years plus another sentence of a certain amount of years equals 7 years in prison? What happened to math? If you have one body how can you serve two sentences at the same time?

  • Orall Cornelius
    Orall Cornelius 21 klukkustund síðan

    I've had a theory that comedy & comedians don't really care about anything or anyone.
    Is it possible that they're laughing at the deaths of hundreds of people in 2 plane crashes, at least indirectly?

  • McKinley Benson
    McKinley Benson 23 klukkustundum síðan

    Love the show. Just a quick note though -- it is ableist to make jokes about a person in a wheelchair being miraculously cured if they stand up. More than 80% of people who use wheelchairs are capable of standing and walking, but use wheelchairs to improve overall mobility.

  • Cody Berg
    Cody Berg 23 klukkustundum síðan

    Lol Hillary Clinton's served two countries at the same time she didn't get jail time

  • Cody Berg
    Cody Berg 23 klukkustundum síðan

    Wow it's pretty racist talking about Canadians like that

  • Tsnore
    Tsnore Degi Síðan síðan +1

    Lock 'im up!

  • Sweety
    Sweety Degi Síðan síðan

    Not funny, just Un-Subscribed; and I'm not sorry.

  • The Musical Stylings of Brent Bunn
    The Musical Stylings of Brent Bunn Degi Síðan síðan

    I'm offensive and I find Stephen's impression very Canadian.

  • carschmn
    carschmn Degi Síðan síðan

    Love the Colbert calculator.

  • Artem Bentsionov
    Artem Bentsionov Degi Síðan síðan +1

    I believe Bill Maher called Manafort’s sentence reduction a “white guy discount”.

    • Sandra Patterson
      Sandra Patterson 13 klukkustundum síðan

      Artem Bentsionov
      That's hilarious. Good for Bill!
      👏👏👏👏

  • Michael Moreton
    Michael Moreton Degi Síðan síðan

    Its not nice to make fun of Canada and Canadians. At least I dont think it is and if I am wrong please forgive me.

  • breakshot74
    breakshot74 Degi Síðan síðan

    i really love the calculator part

  • wiredwebmaster
    wiredwebmaster Degi Síðan síðan

    absolutely love when stephen makes a blunder, laughs at it, and keeps it moving. Such a fantastic host.

  • Sara Burke
    Sara Burke Degi Síðan síðan

    Grounding the planes is the only thing trump has done that I agree with

  • geerdude
    geerdude Degi Síðan síðan

    colbert is still funny even when he messes up the punchline!

  • Tahira Porter
    Tahira Porter Degi Síðan síðan

    Asante Sana Stephen !! Thank you for putting some hilarity in our lives! Much needed in these times. As we say in Kenya your show is Poa Sana (very awesome)

  • Canuck867
    Canuck867 Degi Síðan síðan

    Sorry, but stereotyping canadians like that is just a blindside hit, no dowt! Sorry. Like my pet moose wouldn't hava donnybrook with a beav unless it was just hosed eh bud. Like just beauty hosed too. Sorry! Gad, this just gets me steamed, eh! Sorry, i gotta go fer a rip and have a dart to try and cool my jets. Sorry. Thanks fer chattin boot us eh!

  • Abel1120 conlget
    Abel1120 conlget Degi Síðan síðan

    😂🍻

  • Malay Agarwal
    Malay Agarwal Degi Síðan síðan

    Oooohhhhh, that burn. That. Burn.

  • J x 3
    J x 3 2 dögum síðan

    This program is not very funny anymore.

  • Creighton Freeman
    Creighton Freeman 2 dögum síðan

    It is ironic that the video clip of Trump has him sitting in front of a sculpture of two of the iconic Yellowstone National Park animals that his environmental policy is threatening to drive to extinction.

  • Laydie Elle
    Laydie Elle 2 dögum síðan

    As an Australian, it makes sense that Americans make fun of Canadians. Canada is their polar opposite: polite and respectful.

  • the last of the lemmings
    the last of the lemmings 2 dögum síðan

    7:46 funny! That's karma for hackin on everyone else. Lol

  • Anisa Mazaki
    Anisa Mazaki 2 dögum síðan

    Jokes aside, I'm grateful that "agent orange" did atleast one thing right for a change.
    Ps - @colbert, please stop making fun of Canadians. Your continual stereotyping of them is no longer funny. Not all Canadians are nice/polite people. They're human too. Just saying.

  • Music Feign
    Music Feign 2 dögum síðan

    While Colbert and writers are hilarious, completely inappropriate on the crash comments. Off limits guys, off limits. There is much comedy to find that doesn't involve lost lives. Please stop.

  • Jason Holmes
    Jason Holmes 2 dögum síðan

    Trump is all of a sudden so concerned with the well being of Americans?

  • Irene Mesecke
    Irene Mesecke 2 dögum síðan

    Love the calculator skits and also the Melania sketches. Need a bit of practice with your singing skills and when you lose it, this little old lady from downunder laughs out loud in a world where there is so much hatred.

  • Sapphire Riddles
    Sapphire Riddles 2 dögum síðan

    ... If he'd quit talking without explaining why he did it, he'd have done a good job...

  • Citadel of winds
    Citadel of winds 2 dögum síðan +2

    What sort of person makes fun of a malingerer in a wheelchair?
    Colbert: Hold my cold beer.

  • Vincent Ciccone
    Vincent Ciccone 2 dögum síðan

    There is no war room.... DOJ used to be called DOW (department of war)

  • Vincent Ciccone
    Vincent Ciccone 2 dögum síðan

    Fake Jail time. Its a suspended sentence

  • Victor Green
    Victor Green 2 dögum síðan

    Uh I

  • A Gramckow
    A Gramckow 2 dögum síðan

    ... you can need a wheel chair and still be able to stand or walk under your own power for a brief period of time. I'm not saying this is Manaforts deal, but there are many people who need wheel chairs who are not completely incapable of walking.

  • Judy FIELDS DAVIS
    Judy FIELDS DAVIS 2 dögum síðan

    Les Miserable. The French Revolution is an act of God.”. The plot of Les Misérables begins in 1815 when the main character, Jean Valjean, is released from a 19-year prison and hard labour sentence for stealing a loaf of bread.

  • FlowerofDissolution
    FlowerofDissolution 2 dögum síðan

    Trump's hair is like he's wearing a hair-helmet: IT IS SO STRANGE AND WEIRD! Never ever do this at home kids. Stay safe!

  • cshubs
    cshubs 2 dögum síðan

    I think I might want to die in a plane crash rather than watch Infinity Wars again. What kind of ending was that???

  • Joe Brennan
    Joe Brennan 2 dögum síðan

    This show sucks, always the same crap about Trump every night for 2years.
    .

  • Oliver Descullo
    Oliver Descullo 2 dögum síðan

    Colbert has revealed his mental issues after the American people elected Trump president.

  • Jeffrey Photonboy
    Jeffrey Photonboy 2 dögum síðan

    Darn, perfect "Windows Update" joke opportunity missed there considering all the screw-ups they have caused.

  • CCTV Cayak Crime TV
    CCTV Cayak Crime TV 2 dögum síðan

    I'm not authorized to say we have a learjet to Belize, engines running on standby, on 3 different local airfields. Costs 10.000 thousands of Dollars a day. All for a total witch hunt and fake news!

  • DunantheDefender
    DunantheDefender 3 dögum síðan

    7.5 for all that stuff when half of it should have given him 24... bullshit.

  • ShariSez1
    ShariSez1 3 dögum síðan

    There isn't a damn word in this clip about Manafort, you idiots.

  • Steven Klaysmat
    Steven Klaysmat 3 dögum síðan

    AVE had a good discussion about the Boeing Crashes if anyone is interested in the technical side

  • Mike Hike
    Mike Hike 3 dögum síðan

    I looked through the comments to see if anyone shed light on the "faux pas" moment (at 7:45); in case anyone else was similarly curious, buried in a thread on the comments from below was
    this take by "drangus": _"He messes up the line and says either f**k or s**t."_ That seemed obvious, but may be helpful for clarification. (I'm not a lip reader, but seems it was the second four-letter-word.)

  • The Life Of A Skip Bin Man
    The Life Of A Skip Bin Man 3 dögum síðan

    why isnt hillary in jail for selling american secretes to who knows who why, why would you want bill who was getting a head job when running the country, and his wife who is failed estate agent and would sell you and america to the chinese , germans, russians, she would in flame wars every where, the middle east would of been another bush bullshit storey of weapons of mass destruction, are you people serious. we got rid of head job bill , bull shit bill, gay couple obama , and sell outy hillary who loves wars, and who wanted to get rid of puttin, but she meet her match with puttin. and thank you russia for cleaning up america. we need more. Americans are fucking dick heads, thank god russian loveS there children.

  • Little Mac
    Little Mac 3 dögum síðan +1

    7.5 years still isn;'t enough for that piece of shit. Down with the 1%!!! OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!!! Support AOC!!! Vote Bernie Sanders!!!

  • Brittany Wehrman
    Brittany Wehrman 3 dögum síðan +1

    Not all people in wheelchairs are unable to walk, you know.
    Some can stand.
    Some can stand, but only for certain period of time because of the immense amount of strain it takes, and they would rather use a chair than use crutches/braces/canes because, again, of the amount of strain.
    It doesn't make them any less "wheelchair worthy" or mean they are "pretending" to need one.

  • jordan secrist
    jordan secrist 3 dögum síðan

    stephen colbert is not a tiltdown man

  • John Watt
    John Watt 3 dögum síðan

    As a Canadian it's always fun to see Americans trying to get into it. Canada has been sold out for so long,
    to Americans first, it took the rest of the world banning these aircraft before Canada decided to go along.
    If our current political regime wasn't already deep in criminal controversy, they probably would have just
    kept doing what Americans said. I hope this less than efficient aircraft re-design and the fraudulent efforts
    to cover it up become the news, not just political posturing.

  • Cynthia Brent
    Cynthia Brent 3 dögum síðan

    SDNY is kinda like The Incredible Hulk. When the sentence came down they transformed into the angry superhero.
    "Your Honor don't make me angry. You won't like it when I get angry...🤣🤣🤣

  • Cynthia Brent
    Cynthia Brent 3 dögum síðan

    Entering the courtroom in a wheelchair then when told to stand up he does it without assistance? Did a mafia crime boss come back to help manafool?

  • Oh Yeah?
    Oh Yeah? 3 dögum síðan

    During Stephen's bit about the reporter creating fill for his nothing story assignment I had another one of those Colbert attacks where I was laughing so hard it hurt. One of these days Stephen's going to give me a heart attack.

  • Shawn
    Shawn 3 dögum síðan

    Is it just me or have we as humans become desensitized to the loss of life? Hundreds of people died, ceased to exist, and they're making jokes? Compare this to 30-40 years ago...

  • Survivor #9
    Survivor #9 3 dögum síðan

    Too soon

  • Suzette Figgs
    Suzette Figgs 3 dögum síðan

    SMH????

  • Suzette Figgs
    Suzette Figgs 3 dögum síðan

    New York!!!!

  • Kamran Sadique
    Kamran Sadique 3 dögum síðan

    Stephen is the funniest man on TV....on ISclips!

  • Francis Glz
    Francis Glz 3 dögum síðan

    As far as I know conspiracy carries a minimum of 10 years last time I check! And at the federal level they don’t even have to prove it is enough with a person saying u did it, when drug related but this is treason.

  • Viorel Mocan
    Viorel Mocan 3 dögum síðan

    Thank you again comrade SC for another unbiased piece of sugar coated far left activism.

  • Alexander Forrest
    Alexander Forrest 3 dögum síðan

    Best late night monologue I've seen in a while

  • J B
    J B 3 dögum síðan

    Water Protectors and an independent journalist got more time than Manafort , without committing any crimes, but for PEACEFULLY DEMONSTRATING the endangerment of OUR AQUIFERS, and the journalist covered that news. There is NO real justice this country. BUMMER.

  • Leanne Blake
    Leanne Blake 3 dögum síðan

    You have to Love New Yorker . Bloody Hell Steve Munchin? Head on him like a Robbers Dog.

  • Leanne Blake
    Leanne Blake 3 dögum síðan

    As a Australian , I fly on plane , but only if its QANTAS.

  • Derek Gold
    Derek Gold 3 dögum síðan

    👍👍👍👍👍Ahhhahahahahah

  • Rene Dulnuan
    Rene Dulnuan 3 dögum síðan

    You can count on your Mama on it?

  • chas4702
    chas4702 3 dögum síðan

    Collusion Report: No Collusion found. End of report. Money wasted 10 Billion.

  • Patrick Cosgrove
    Patrick Cosgrove 3 dögum síðan

    I have to think that Stephen's Roman Catholic petticoats are showing!

  • Taul
    Taul 3 dögum síðan

    Whelp, guess mercury is rx, even Stephen is human. Just like the choir. Yeah!

  • Daniel Galan
    Daniel Galan 3 dögum síðan

    7 1/2 years for treason? White collar crime does pay!

  • Obi1kenobi10
    Obi1kenobi10 3 dögum síðan

    I LOVE NEW YORK!!!!!!!!!!

  • Steve Louis
    Steve Louis 3 dögum síðan

    Not sure it's terribly funny to joke about the 737 crashes.

  • Eric Koontz
    Eric Koontz 3 dögum síðan

    ...walk up to the biggest guy in the Yard, and say... "Mr President, can I have a pardon??"
    YESSSSSS!!!

  • Ula Yee
    Ula Yee 3 dögum síðan

    Canada joke... haha... funny NOT!! It’s as if all mr Colbert knows about Canada he has learnt from a couple of McKenzie Brothers skits. Because all Canadians speak with a Newfoundland accent. Pretty ignorant on the part of mr Colbert.
    Mr Colbert, you’d do better sticking to poking fun of your orange humpty in chief.

  • Gene Phipps
    Gene Phipps 3 dögum síðan

    Actually he said, "Here...hold my Martini " =)

  • Andrew Homiak
    Andrew Homiak 3 dögum síðan

    Not to question Stephen Colbert's smut-writing capabilities, but "bedewed"? Is she a lawn?

  • overseastom
    overseastom 3 dögum síðan

    Some of these felt a bit too soon, man! Laughing about the autopilot causing nosedives is weird when 300+ people have died from it in just a few months

  • N K
    N K 3 dögum síðan

    I like maths I love maths maths is my life and I’m afraid to fly

  • superlearner9
    superlearner9 3 dögum síðan

    One of the best yet! GR SC!

  • Nancy Deis
    Nancy Deis 3 dögum síðan

    Great Job Stephen Love a Canadian

  • jean tyler
    jean tyler 3 dögum síðan

    Manifort deserves the death penalty for betraying his own country. Yet he is rich, white, and connected. SO WRONG.

  • Don Berry
    Don Berry 3 dögum síðan

    Steven, love you and I'm hardly p.c.but jokes on this are too soon. These people just died.

  • Eric Baker-Alt
    Eric Baker-Alt 3 dögum síðan

    Trump is going to pardon Manafort, at least from the federal crimes. Every time he says he wasn't thinking about it (anything), it means he's already made up his mind.

  • Drunken Master II
    Drunken Master II 3 dögum síðan

    that fake Canadian accent was on point.

  • Cristen
    Cristen 3 dögum síðan

    I don't know Manafort's medical history but it is perfectly possible that he may have a condition which causes him variable mobility issues... don't want to laugh at or discredit someone for having the same problems I do, needing a cane or wheelchair sometimes but also being able to stand on my own

  • Christopher Bland
    Christopher Bland 3 dögum síðan

    Great to see the rest of the world took to ground the 737 before DUMP did

  • Mystical Light Goddess
    Mystical Light Goddess 3 dögum síðan

    Please help Tulsi Gabbard and Marianne Williamson need 60000 donors of $1 each to qualify for debate.

  • NoCleverName
    NoCleverName 3 dögum síðan

    From 8:47 on -- It's a delightfully nostalgic revisit to Stephen's circa 2003 epic thriller-mystery as told through the eyes, thoughts, and words of a whimsical, yet oblivious investigative journalist -- "Wigfield." As succinctly, yet praisingly, put by one of the critics feeling compelled enough to say something for the back cover -- a person going by the apparent pseudonym, "Jon Stewart," -- "To me, WIGFIELD is a deeply funny, refreshingly original book, but to be fair, it is the first book I've ever read." Well, Mr. Stewart (if that is your real name), you are one step ahead of me as I have yet to finish my copy due to the scratching and other blemishes I need to remove from disc -- er, uh, Chapter -- three, which resulted from my copy inadvertently tumbling out of my car as I was hurrying off to work one morning. I have the audio version in CD format and, as there are no versions available in print, either in paper or electronic formats, I must take it upon myself as taught through example by the book's hero, Russell Hokes, to conclude that the only logical conclusion is that the publisher must have started with their initial push in 2003 as a massive CD-only campaign seeing the digital era that we were embarking into in 2003 and having the wise foresight to know that soon, no one would be reading print media any more. After receiving such a successful return from this initial push, the publisher must have taken 100% of the return and done the only logical thing, which was to re-invest it back into the only media form that proved successful for this book -- audio, of course -- and produced a second batch of CDs. In their infinite wisdom, the publisher could see that print form was, at this point, truly unnecessary. "Books begone! Onward and upward! We are in the dawning of a new era -- the digital media era!," they assumedly proclaimed. Unfortunately for them, their infinite wisdom, although infinite, lacking the customary bounds of space and time, would soon prove to have limits moreso than boundaries. To use a mathematical term, "finite." Their infinite wisdom would prove to be finite, indeed. Who could have foreseen in 2003 that a small hand-held device known as the "Kindle" was on the rise; worse yet, it's more ubiquitous successor, the "smart phone?" Indeed, the people of the future -- relative to 2003 -- would learn to, not just read again, but re-learn how much fun it was as a child to read. Yes, reading became popular again. So, what is our takeaway, Reader's Digest, book report summary moral of the story of this delightful book known as "Wigfield?" "Wigfield" is simply and profoundly a publishing anomaly. We can see in the story of the publishing of "Wigfield," the story of a book whose publishing, and initial release, and subsequent marketing campaign, all occurred right on the cusp of a turning point in media history. In the story of the publishing of "Wigfield," we have captured a lightning flash moment in time precisely between the dawning of the new digital era and print media's glory days of yore -- only to be renaissanced back to life with the advent of the Kindle and the smart phone, as discussed above, but that's not the thesis here. So, keeping on-track, the publishing of "Wigfield" happened during a relative moment in our history when we were right between an old age of print media and a new age of digital media - we were in a very very small period of time in which we essentially had NO media. Surely, scholars of the distant future will look back on that tiny moment of time and refer to it as the "Dark Ages Of Media." Of course, we did not know this at the time; notwithstanding, gambles were made regarding the publishing of "Wigfield." All bets were placed in that moment on publishing in audio format only. It could have gone terribly bad, or it could have been incredibly successful. We may never know how it eventually did turn out. As they say, "Hindsight's 20/20." There are so many lessons to be learned. In the case of "Wigfield," you live and you learn. Oh, by the way, if you like Mr. Colbert's somewhat sarcastic, sometimes artificially oblivious sharp wit, then look for "Wigfield" anywhere audiobooks are sold -- I understand that, nowadays, you can find a bunch of them for sale somewhere down in The Amazon. (If you are a fan of "Wigfield" then you recognize the writing style presented above. The long, run-on sentences, apparent contradictions within sentences, overly-eloquent diction in some areas juxtaposed with juvenile [and even faulty] logic, giving the sense of a high school student trying to sound more advanced in his writing than he actually is -- all of this is deliberate farce. The above writing style is not for real, it's just a joke, modeled respectfully after Stephen's own style used in "Wigfield" and prior to that, as the [fictional] oblivious news reporter he played on The Daily Show before he began performing as himself on The Late Show.)

  • Tom Has
    Tom Has 3 dögum síðan

    Always a gem when Colbert gets out the Calculator

  • the artist
    the artist 3 dögum síðan +2

    Manafort standing up from the wheelchair is a metaphor for his continual lying and foreign deal making!

  • Kitten Diotima
    Kitten Diotima 3 dögum síðan

    Please, Manafort got, yet again, another light sentence. The kid that stole a $100 from a laundromat got more time than a traitor, financial pirate, professional liar, and hardened criminal who showed no remorse, and whom the prosecution said wld continue to commit crimes if he was not in jail. Manafort SHLD die in jail for the terrible things he's done, and bc if he's not in jail, he will continue to sell out our country. But, no, he gets a wrist slap, a 7 year sentence, and he'll be out in 3 for good behavior or for his "health" or something.